


Forgiveness

by Cornerofmadness



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 13:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20779010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerofmadness/pseuds/Cornerofmadness
Summary: It’s the end of the world but can forgiveness be found?





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer ** \- So not mine. All characters belong Joss Whedon
> 
> **Author’s Note** \- This is a comment_fic written for the for the prompt “Any, any, It used to be all I want to learn  
Was wisdom trust and truth  
By now all I really want to learn  
Is forgiveness for you   
Forgiveness – Collective Soul  
Note: Some of the lyrics appear as dialogue.

The world was ending. I’m fairly sure of it. I should never have left Angel’s side, no matter how battered I was by that huge guy inside Wolfram and Hart. But Angel was right. I had to save Mom and Dad. I planned to come back as soon as I was sure they were safe and to hell with him wanting me to be safe. I’ve never been safe a day in my life, barring those months I lived mind-wiped with my family.

I didn’t make it in time. They were all dead but what could I expect, running there on foot. Weeping, I wanted to do something for them, but I couldn’t. I killed the things that killed them, took the family car and sped back to my real father. I couldn’t leave him now. If the world was ending, then I should die with him. How strange is that thought to me? Eighteen years of my life I was trained to loathe him, to destroy him and now I needed to be there at his side. What was wrong with me?

I purposefully wrecked the car into something the size of a tree but was as grey and wrinkled as an elephant. I could see Angel and Spike battling not far from it. I hurtled through the windshield, sword in hand. I hamstrung the elephant-Ent and took out something with thorns sprouting from it before it could cut Angel down.

Dad spun around, vampire face on and gaped at me. I tried not to shudder at the sight of those gold eyes and snaggled vicious teeth. His visage morphed back. He’d not want me to see him like that. “Connor? What are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t stay away.”

“I didn’t want you in danger.” He sighed. “You never learn.”

A stray fragment of music played in my head. _ It used to be all I want to learn was wisdom, trust and truth. _ That was true. Father had insisted on it, but it was _his_ truth, his wisdom and I trusted in Holtz explicitly. But it was a biased truth. It warped my mind. “Oh, I learn but you need me here.” I whipped around and took the head off some monster with one slash of the sword. “I was made for this.”

“But I didn’t ….one day you’ll actually learn to _listen_ to me,” Angel swore as he dove back into the thick of the battle.

I laughed. “Like hell, Dad!”

I would probably never learn to listen to him. I might never listen to anyone ever again, not completely at least. I listened to Holtz and he betrayed me, tricking me into thinking he’d been murdered. I listened to Cordelia and she turned me into a murderer. I listened to my daughter and I stood by while she ate people. I listened to Angel and he never told me the whole truth.

I’d been gas lighted by every person I ever listened to and trusted. I slashed until my sword snapped on bone, and then went at it bare fisted until I could wrest away another weapon from a demon I’d killed. Fuck learning to listen to people. My mind needed to be its own now. I watched Angel take on something three times his size. How he defeated it with Spike’s help I’ll never know. I went after something slimy and smelly even as Dad shot me a death’s glare. Yeah Dad I get it. I should have run away and hid under the bed and pretended I was safe. I’m not listening. You’re not teaching me. By now all I really want to learn is forgiveness for you. For you, for Holtz, for Cordy and most importantly for myself. 

If I survive the night, maybe forgiveness will come.


End file.
